Why am I free falling…?

I have let myself drop - drown - it is beyond explanation - yet the simplest rationale is the most shocking.
I think I was bored - seeking a new challenge - I think I might be hurting myself for that simple reason - testing myself - testing my resolve and my strength. It is pointless since - I know I will pull through.
But wait… for once I’m unsure… Did I out-do myself this time…? Nah… I’m just hurting too much tonight.